An evening in the pines!

By Chanuga Rollins

 

It was a cool but rainy day when Danny Diamonds and Joel got a call from the boys on Passaic Street. We have something for you guys to get rid of, that was all the information that they received.

Danny and Joel were instructed to go around back in the alley of the social club it was 2pm. Joel started for the door of the club as Danny popped open the trunk. Where the fuck you going, stay out here it’s coming, Fat Sal said to Joel. That guy’s a miserable cock sucker ain’t he, Danny said to Joel but out of earshot from Fat Sal.

A moment later the back door of the social club opened and two guys carrying a bagged and taped-up body of someone were placed into the trunk of Danny’s car. "Billy the Nose" the captain of the Passaic Street crew pulled Danny and Joel aside, this guy in your trunk has to vanish never to be seen again you got it. I want to go down to the Pine Barrens dig a hole and dump this mother fucker in it, here’s a couple of shovels and some lime, dig it deep!

Being low on the totem pole in the crew, Danny and Joel had to put up with doing shitty jobs like this. They both hated South Jersey, but they hated the Pine Barrens even more, it was no fucking Hoboken. They hated the woods, the smells, the sandy soil, it reminded them both of death, but that’s probably because the Passaic Street crew has been dumping bodies there for years.

The boys picked Galloway Township only because they’d been here before, they went down the first dirt road that they could find that led to nothing, by now it was well after 5pm. I say that we dig the hole first then come back for this guy, Joel agreed. They walked into the woods about one hundred feet amazingly they couldn’t see the car from where they were, this is good let’s start digging. Both began to dig, how far down do you want to go Joel asked, China would be good Danny said laughing. I guess six feet should do it, that should keep the critters from digging him up. How do you know that Joel asked, just a guess I suppose, I don’t do this shit for a living you know, they both laughed.

Seconds later they heard a noise coming from the woods it sounded like a heavy kind of breathing. You hear that Joel asked, of course, I’m not fucking deaf Danny said. What should we do Joel asked, just keep digging Danny said let’s get this over with. They heard the breathing sound again only this time it was much closer. What the fuck is that Danny said, I don’t know let’s just finish digging this hole and get the fuck out of here Joel said.

This looks at least four feet deep, it’s good enough, let’s go and get the corpse Danny said, they both walked towards the car. They opened the trunk and pulled the body out, damn this fucker is heavy Joel said laughing. Maybe they killed him after he ate, nothing like a belly full of pasta, again they both laughed. Come on, we should probably show some respect Joel said. Why, you afraid he’s going to hear you, Danny said still laughing, fuck him, I’m sure he ended up like this for doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. By now it was pitch black out.

Dragging the body through the woods they were almost to the grave site when Joel looked up and saw a guy in a tree stand pointing a bow and arrow at them. Danny, look up Joel said… What the fuck, this guy’s been watching us this whole fucking time Danny said. He is  pointing an arrow at us, this piney fuck Danny said. Pretend that we don’t see him Joel said. Oh, ok Danny said, then in one swift motion Danny pulled out a gun and shot the man out of the tree stand. Why in the hell did you do that Joel screamed! 

Because he was pointing an arrow at us, and he saw us carrying a body, and let’s not forget digging a grave Danny screamed back. The man bleeding from a chest wound was lying flat on his back moaning. Hey asshole why were you making them creepy noises, were you trying to scare us Danny asked. That wasn’t me jerk off, the man said in pain. Yeah, fuck you Danny said, then he shot the man right in the forehead.

Nice going Joel said… What the fuck was I supposed to do, let him go, Danny, screamed, we’ll just put him in with this asshole. Joel and Danny put both bodies in the hole and began covering them up with dirt. That’s when they heard the noise again, but this time it wasn’t a breathing sound it was more of a growling noise. Pouring in the lime, let’s hurry and get the fuck out of here, both men began filling in the hole faster.

Just as Joel tossed his last shovel full of dirt on the grave he noticed a big black figure standing in the woods about thirty feet away staring at him. The figure was well over six feet tall with a stocky build. Hey Danny, look over here Joel said… Danny was smoking a cigarette facing the other way, oh fuck he said as he turned around, what the hell is that Danny asked. What the fuck do I know, Joel said, which way you going to run. I’m not running, fuck this thing Danny said as he pulled out his gun and opened fire with Joel pulling his gun and joining in.

Uh-oh, whatever this thing was it didn’t even flinch, both men emptied their magazines into it, let’s get out of here. They grabbed their shovels and backed up slowly towards their car, at first the thing looked like it was going to let them leave, but as they got closer to the car they heard branches breaking, and rustling, like something was running towards them. Both men threw down their shovels and ran to the car using the clicker to unlock the doors.

They were just ready to leave when that thing ran up to the driver’s side window trying to break it to attack them, I think we pissed this fucking thing off Danny said, he put the car into gear and speed off. The thing chased their car for about a hundred feet or so then ran off into the woods.

On the Parkway heading North towards Hoboken, Danny and Joel were still shaken up and not quite believing what just happened. What are we going to do Joel asked? Nothing, we ain’t going to do nothing but forget what happened, and don’t even mention it back at the social club the guys would never let us live it down Danny said. Do you think that it was the Jersey Devil Joel asked?

Danny and Joel never again went into the New Jersey Pine Barrens.

The End

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